If you follow me on Twitter, which you likely don’t because I don’t link to my main account and never update my food blog account, you’ll know that I’ve been having a first world problem of epic proportions.
Get my teeth whitened or get an iPhone? My teeth are turning British (sorry!) and my phone cost me exactly 99 pence. Dilemma? Actually, yes, as we learned from the AP Style book. Both outcomes are going to be negative in terms of the feeling in my pocket.
Anyway, man I love going to the dentist. No joke.
Every time I get back from the dentist I can’t stop wiggling my tongue all around my shiny teeth and looking in any reflective surface. I used to show off my super clean smile, but now I can’t do that because I have British yellow teeth. No smiles for me.
On the other hand, I really need to spend money to get a new phone because mine was funny at first but now it’s just embarrassing. My baby is on the left
Why not get a cheaper model instead of an iPhone, you ask? Because I don’t believe in mediocrity. Sometimes I think it’s more embarrassing to have tried your best and achieved mediocrity than to simply save yourself the money and have the worst. Which is the case for me. If I can’t have the best (or one of the top couple) phones, I’d rather have the absolute worst phone on the market because at least it’s funny (well, it was funny the first year I had it).
Also, this piece of crap will not die.
At the mall a couple months ago I put a bottle of water in my bag, upside down, and was then surprised when it broke and filled my bag with water. Yep, my phone was in there. Did he die? Oh no. He was like, I’M STILL ALIVE IN HERE!!!!
He almost daily falls out of my pocket onto the concrete and physically breaks apart, but I pick him up and he’s sitting there smiling, saying, I’M STILL ALIVE!!!
I figured if he finally broke it’d be an excuse to get a new phone, but as I said, he won’t die.
So, do I be a cool kid with white teeth, or a cool kid with a cool phone? Because clearly, white teeth and nice phones are the only ways to achieve the high road in terms of coolness.
(Also, I heard teeth whitening is painful! If anyone has any experience with this, please speak up!)