Guess what, guys. Having a heart attack doesn’t have to be related to poor health and diet. Common household occurrences can scare the F right out of you, and maybe even kill you.
1) Come home, sit on your bed to blog about a nice meal you just had, and then have this little d-bag (can you call a spider that?) walk out from behind your laptop:
2) Go brush your teeth, then have your attempt at mouthwashing thwarted by a bunch of drunkard ants. This is an old picture from when the ants were visible. I thought I got rid of the ants until yesterday when I opened the bottle cap and all of them were living inside. My heart! What if I hadn’t noticed and they got on my lips??
As any cool person would, the first thing I thought was, “What is this? A school for … ants?”
“It has to be at least … three times that size!”
Seriously though. Stupid ants. How can I use my mouthwash now, knowing they’ve been sitting there getting drunk off the alcohol? There’s nothing I hate more than a bunch of a$$hole ants and d-bag spiders f*^&in’ up my sh*&t.
I’m kidding. I don’t actually talk like that. Or do I …
In any case, I’ll blog about my English pub dinner later. These bugs have me in no mood for food talk.