I sing about chewing tobacco.

God help me. How did I become the kind of person who listens to music in which the lyrics discuss buying wintergreen Skoal and main street gas? Is there anything nastier than people who chew tobacco??

One time at a speech during school this guy from my class was being really sneaky and spitting his chew into a Pepsi can while we were supposed to be listening and taking notes. Guess what happened? Toward the end of the speech his can tipped over and I got his tobacco-laced spit all down my nice pants. At the point I was like, I honestly would not care if this guy died right now. He could fall over dead and I wouldn’t blink an eye. GROSS. (Sure, this was in Terre Haute, Indiana, but still. Disgusting.)

I am ashamed to admit I bought Toby Keith’s whole album today because I’m so obsessed with his song “Beers Ago,” where he references spending his last few pennies on chew. I’m not even going to put a link to it. I hate him! But I love him.

Anyway. There’s no good segue from chew to watermelon, so I’m just going to get on with it.

I forgot how much I love watermelon. Eating watermelon makes me so happy I want to sing. It makes me forget I work in a basement, in a country that’s almost always covered in clouds.

Snack at work today:

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Work has been nothing but busy, busy, busy, so by 7:30 p.m. I was ready to clear my head. At that point the clouds had cleared as well, and it was perfect running temperature.

I ran a really good four miles from Blackfriars Bridge, along Victoria Embankment, back across the bridge at Westminster and then back along the South Bank.

Also! I got a new running app for my iPhone and boy is it exciting. It tells me how far I’ve gone, maps my run, tells me my pace, etc. It’s like … magic.

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With the help of Dierks Bentley my run went by in a flash. It was such a nice evening. I almost considered doing the loop again, but my shuffle was out of battery and I’m not to the point where I can zone out as easily without music.

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I’m always concerned about running along roads because of fumes from cars, but for some reason when I run along the embankment I can only smell the Thames (which some people might argue is worse than car fumes!). Anyway, works for me!

I realized when I was running through tourists that I’m finally one of those people. Whenever I’d travel to cities like New York I’d see people jogging and think, “I wonder what it must be like to do daily activities here, like running through the park. Totally normal to that person!”

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After work and running it was too late to cook (up at 5 tomorrow!) so I got a veggie pizza from Sainsbury’s only to discover those sneaky Brits put corn on it. I don’t get the English and their corn fetish. It’s in everything!

My nightstand works double time as a dinner table. Single life, huh?

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16 thoughts on “I sing about chewing tobacco.

  1. Gotta say, Americans put corn into everything too, we’re just sneakier about it. Can’t pick the corn syrup/corn solids off the top, unfortunately. And baby corn? What the heck is up with that weird stuff, and why is it in my “Asian” food??

    I’s the CMA Fest here right now, and it makes me think of you, haha. Not a country music fan (and fleeing to NYC to avoid the mess this weekend…and to go to NYC), but oh my gosh, it’s already extra-country-insane around here. Is Keith Anderson anyone vaguely well known? He was performing at a bar I was at last night. Unfortunately live music all sounds like “mmrph mmrmph urrrgle,” but there were probably some lryics referring to dip in there.

    • OMG BABY CORN. No. I just don’t trust those little things. Ew. I have no idea why the gross/freak me out, but I do not like the look of them.

      Yeah, sadly I know Keith Anderson although I don’t think he’s very popular. Still, I’d be super excited and would totally blog about it.

      You should definitely blog about CMA Fest. Like, a total run down. Also about NYC. Same thing. Everything you do – blog.

      • Haha, a total rundown of my CMA Fest experience is pretty much going to be the above: I accidentally participated one evening by showing up at a bar where a guy named Keith Anderson happened to be playing. But New York? Yup, I’ll definitely be blabbing/blogging all about that.

        • You should have gotten a picture! And totally random but when I turned on Tune In today it was Keith Anderson. Haven’t heard his music in forever until you mention it, then it’s the first thing on the radio.

  2. Your posts make it impossible to just say one thing! Ha:) So here you go:
    1. I’m obsessed with watermelon in the summer. Our fridge has been stuffed with it every week for about a month now and I eat it every night for dessert (when I’m not eating ice cream, that is).

    2. I went through a country music phase in college. I still like some of it, but some of it makes me cringe now to think I used to like it! Toby Keith was never on the list of “likes”, probably because I associate him with “real ‘Mericans” aka crazy tea partiers who dress in American flag shirts and rant about their freedoms and liberties! πŸ™‚

    3. I’ve always wanted to be one of “those people” too!! Whenever I travel, I always want to do daily activities so I can get a feel for what it would be like to live in that place. Crazy that you’re one of those people in LONDON! So cool.

    4. Love the hole in the middle of your pizza!

    Aaaand that about sums it up. Sorry for the length!

    • What about watermelon flavored stuff? I’m against that because the real thing is too good!

      I feel the same way about Toby Keith. He’s a real ‘Merican! Although we probably shouldn’t be capitalizing the M because that’s a bit too intelligent. Gosh I hate him. But that song!!

      I love your comments πŸ™‚

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